This Is Why Failed Relationships Don’t Mean You Are A Failure

In an ideal world, we would find the right partner, form the perfect relationship with her, never have any sort of arguments, make a happy family, and live our happily ever after. However, this is hardly ever the way life works.  And just because we have failed relationships, that doesn’t mean we should see ourselves as failures.

Failed relationships are a lesson, not a sign we're failed people.
Do our failed relationships mean we have failed as people?

Failed Relationships Are A Fact Of Life

When we try to make a relationship work, but it doesn’t, we very often feel like we are the ones to blame. Even though we shouldn’t leave an experience with a negative outcome go without learning a lesson, it is wrong to feel like complete failures because people didn’t work out the way we’d planned.

The fact that our relationships go awry is sometimes seen as a direct indication that there is something profoundly wrong with us. We may feel unlovable and bad at judging people and situations, and we may also come to the conclusion that there’s really no hope for a future relationship success. The longer the relationships, the bigger the disappointment too. When you’ve spent so much of your time and energy into something that failed, you would be excused to think that the failure is a sign that you just don’t know how to have a happy relationship. However, failed relationships happen all the time as a part of a trial-and-error process.

Relationships Are Trial-And-Error

The only way for a person not to ever feel disappointed in a relationship is to never be part of one. In all other cases, we take risks; we are all bound to hurt others and to be hurt by them. That doesn’t mean we should be afraid of forming strong relationships and work on them, though. It just means that we should be ready to learn and evolve through our experiences.

Studying the things that caused your past failed relationships will show you the things you need from your partner, the things you don’t need from your relationship, and the things you have to do to make yourself a better partner yourself.

So, instead of seeing ourselves as failed people for having failed relationships, we should see ourselves as wiser people, people who have taken some important life lessons, and prepare for real love to knock on our doors.

Another thing that we should do is to look around us. We are not cut off from the real world. With an average of 50% of marriages falling apart, it is clear that a lot of people are struggling to make their own relationships work – and yet they don’t give up, thinking they have failed in life. They move on and maybe find true love the second, or the third, or the fourth, or the tenth time around.

In a nutshell

Not only do failed relationships not make us failed people, in truth they make us better people. Yes, we have made mistakes. Yes, we didn’t succeed in finding bliss this time around, and yes, we gambled on the wrong person for us. But is beating ourselves up for failing or deciding to be alone for the rest of our lives the solution? Absolutely not.