This Is How To Be A Better Listener
One of the most common causes of relationship problems is miscommunication. Sometimes it may be caused by one of the partners’ inability or unwillingness to express themselves in a clear and comprehensible manner, but other times it may be the result of the partners simply being bad listeners. This is why today we will examine the ways one can actually become a better listener and, thus, a better partner.
To Be A Better Listener You Need To Do These Things
Are you sure you know how to be a good listener? Do you always pay close attention to the person talking to you, effectively taking your conversation further, or are you just waiting for your turn to talk?
“Who Speaks Sows; Who Listens Reaps”
Most of us have been taught that listening is boring because it is something we do passively, while talking is interesting because it is something we engage in actively. This is probably the root of the problem, as a good listener is not a passive one.
So, if you are to become a better listener, the first thing you need to do is reconsider your role in a conversation. As an Argentine proverb goes “he who listens reaps, he who speaks sows”. In spite of what we have been made to believe, the speaker will give information that is useful to the listener. The good listener will know the way to discard the information that is useless and superfluous, focusing on what’s precious and usable instead.
In a recent School of Life video, the listener is being likened to a book editor, who will review a book and make sure to edit out the superfluous, irrelevant elements to make its content more relevant and interesting.
Being An Active Listener Means Being A Better Listener
Apart from genuinely paying attention to what his interlocutor is saying, a good listener also knows how to actively encourage him/ her to not lose focus by straying from his own train of thought. A good listener will ask the right questions at the right time, helping the speaker return to the more salient points of the conversation and staying to the point.
Being A Good Speaker Helps Make Others Good Listeners
Ultimately, one of the best things we can do to improve the overall quality of our interactions is to be a great example of a good speaker too. When we, ourselves, know how to be interesting speakers, avoiding too much unnecessary detail and veering off topic as we speak, we will inspire others to be better interlocutors too. This will, in time, result in better, more productive and constructive conversations where we will be both a better speaker and a better listener. In the end, we will also be a better, more attentive partner too.