Life Lessons Of Those Who Became Single In Their 30s And 40s
They say that the older we experience a serious break-up, the harder it is to get over it. But while this may be true to some extent, there is another thing worth mentioning about going through a relationship failure in our 30s and 40s: the fact that we learn our life lessons in a more meaningful way.
Life Lessons That Can Only Be Learnt After A Break-Up
We hear our friends talk about their marital problems and relationship issues, and while we may not lack the emotional intelligence to empathize with them, it is only through our own personal experiences that we can learn the most important life lessons. Here are some of the things we realize when our relationships fail in the 3rd and 4th decade of our lives.
That “wanting” to be in a relationship is more important than “needing” to be in one. Some relationships start off with the best auspices, but they progress into something that’s toxic and wrong. When they do, we should be ready to let go of them without the fear of being alone. When the need to be with someone is bigger than your desire to be with them, there is something fundamentally wrong with the relationship.
That we need to respect ourselves more. If you leave a relationship with regrets over neglecting yourself, your wants and your dreams, it’s a clear message you should love yourself more and make your happiness, not just that of your partner, your priority next time.
That we are blessed to have people who really love us around. Sometimes we focus so much on our other half that we tend to ignore our friends and relatives, even taking their love for granted. But real friendship and love never falter, and these are the people who go out of their way to become our shoulder to cry on when our relationships fall apart, so they deserve our attention and appreciation.
That certain signs shouldn’t be neglected. Most of us tend to ignore some telling signs in the beginning of a relationship. Either because we don’t view them as important, or because we are blinded by our admiration for our partner, we turn a blind eye and dismiss them as insignificant. These things may, however, come back and bite us over time. Next time we’re in a relationship, we swear we won’t let the red flags go unnoticed.
That we’ll never be enough for some people, but the same goes for them. In many cases, people are left feeling very insecure after a breakup, even shouldering all the blame for its failure. But as they begin to analyze things in a more sober way, they realize that sometimes people are just not meant to be together.
If our partners leave us feeling small and like we were just not enough for them, we should wonder if they were ever enough for us in the first place. More often than not, we will find that their flaws were equally (if not more) serious and that it’s wrong to take all the blame for a breakup.
That we can and will survive alone. There is nothing scarier than being made to restart your life when you are no longer in your 20s. Irrespective of whether you’re coming from a failed marriage or a relationship gone wrong, being single in your 30s and 40s may be daunting.
However, as the wounds from the breakup heal, you will find that there is a great deal of strength inside you that you never knew was there and every day will be the proof that you’re far more resilient than you thought.
A breakup is never pleasant nor is it ever easy – especially as we grow older and more invested in our relationships. But the life lessons drawn from a failed relationship will only make us stronger and readier to fall happily in love and form a stronger bond with ourselves and others.