The Hard Truth Behind Stashing, The New Dating Trend
If you’ve never heard of the term stashing before, don’t worry – it’s only because it’s a brand new dating term. However, as it so often is the case with dating terms these days, what it describes will sound familiar (perhaps too familiar).
First things first. Let’s begin by understanding what the term means. Imagine that you have been going out with a girl for some time and believe everything is fine and dandy. The sex is great, you have the most exciting conversations, you enjoy each other’s company, you’ve introduced her to your circle of friends and she – well, she has not introduced you to hers. If your Facebook account has a photo of you and her from which she swiftly made sure to untag herself, and you’re nowhere in her social media, or she never mentions you when she’s telling people where she is, there is now a name for what’s happening to you. You guessed it: it’s Stashing.
You can actually thank Metro.co.uk for coming up with it. In their exact words: “You know when someone hurriedly tidies their room and shoves a jumble of stuff in a cupboard so it’s not on show, so they don’t have to think about it until later? When you’re being stashed, you’re that jumble of stuff.”
Why Would Someone Be Stashed?
Now that it’s clear what Stashing involves, you may be wondering why a human being would stash someone they are dating. Well, there are quite a few reasons for it – some worse than others. The main ones are described below.
#1. They don’t see your relationship as a long-term thing.
Could it be that you are perhaps a little more invested in whatever it is you’re having than your dating partner? As a rule, people who don’t see much prospect in their relationship with someone don’t really see why they should bother to introduce them to their granny. They are out to have fun and have a casual fling, and don’t feel like they need to make things more serious by allowing you into their circle.
#2. They like to keep their options open.
Would you post a photo of you and your girl enjoying the sunset on Instagram if you didn’t want to spoil your single-guy image? Similarly, if your girl likes to be seen as a free agent, she’s highly unlikely to post your beach selfie from Mykonos for all the potential dates to see she’s not single.
#3. They are embarrassed by you.
Now, this one’s harsh, we know. Yet, it could explain things. If your partner is part of a circle of people who are, for example, filthy rich, and you are scraping a living, she may be reluctant about introducing you to them. Is this enough reason to ghost her harder than Casper? We’ll let you decide.
#4. They have confidence issues.
This can involve two things. One, that they are afraid that their circle of people will put you off them (the opposite of the reason mentioned above) because they are embarrassed by them. Or two, they believe that someone in their circle of friends might catch your attention – perhaps a friend they consider to be more beautiful or someone they view as more interesting than them.
Whatever the reason for stashing, it is a vile practice that should not be tolerated. If you feel that your dating partner is treating you this way, our advice is to either confront them about it or to just walk away. You are not the piece of old rag someone stashes in their closet. You are the expensive designer shirt people wear proudly.